Writer and Chico State Professor Sarah Pape explores the peril and chaos of life in her debut book of poetry, “Forgive the Animal.”
Her anthology delves into her childhood experiences while growing up in Oroville, the profound repercussions of abuse, and the transformative experience of cultivating self-forgiveness and empathy towards herself and others.
"This book is the embodiment of all of those years of process, and I think this final version is the one I feel most proud of, and I feel like I understand the best," Pape said.
The poetry collection brings together years of work and dedication to her craft.
The book started when Pape was tasked with compiling a collection of poems for her thesis while pursuing her Master of Fine Arts at Chico State. This was the first time she saw her poems come together meaningfully, and it shaped the foundation of her collection.
"They were definitely writing along the same lines as some of the subjects in this book," Pape said. “I could say they were pretty early, both in my development as a poet and as somebody working through trauma."
She continued to hone her craft and artistic skills, fueled by the aspiration to eventually publish a book.
“I always say that poetry has never given me any financial benefits, but it has given me everything else that's good in my life.”
Chaos and creation in Pape’s poetry
In publishing the collection, Pape was fully aware that she would have to embrace her own vulnerability, as the book draws from her personal experiences.
She welcomed the experience. The mystery, the intrigue, and the criticism were all part of living in her truth.
"Part of the deal of making art is that there is some urge to make it public or to share it with others, and for me, that's always been kind of completing the circle of the process," Pape said. "So there's the making of it, the revising of it, and then sharing it with a larger audience, I think, is what kind of completes it."
Pape hopes her words will resonate with readers and help shift discussions surrounding substance use disorder and addiction.
"People are suffering, people are dying, and we don't have the kinds of resources as a country to hold this and to help people heal. Also, just the ways that we look at people who suffer from this, or who are contending with this, it has to be humanized," Pape said.
Publishing ‘Forgive the Animal’
The book's title emerged during the revision process, as a reflection on the recurring theme of animals and the concept of forgiveness.
“They're kind of all around it,” Pape said. “They're in the margins. They're the subjects and sometimes the witnesses to many of the things that happen in this book.”
Pape also said the title reflects her experience reconciling with her past.
“Part of my own healing with some of what's in this book was really taking things down to almost biologic level, like, where does substance use disorder live in the brain? And where do, you know, our long lineage of injury or abuse show up?" Pape said.
Visualizing trauma within the context of the animal kingdom simplified her understanding of pain, growth, and the human experience.
Pape still questioned whether "Forgive the Animal" was the right title, but the more she said it, the more deeply it resonated with her. It evolved into a personal mantra, symbolizing not only the release of harm inflicted by others but also self-forgiveness.
“I had to look at my own positioning in these poems, and over and over again, let her be and let go of some of those early places of self-blame,” Pape said. “So, as much as it's about anyone else, it's about forgiveness of myself, the animal at the heart of the book.”
“Forgive the Animal” is available at The Bookstore in downtown Chico or online. A reception for the book will be held at the 1078 Gallery on Oct. 27 from 6 to 8 p.m.
